I don’t often talk about my Near Death Experiences and people always ask.  They are kind of a personal thing and I’ve had three of them so far.

The first was when I was 19 visiting my grandparents in Virginia one summer. I have no idea what actually happened.  My grandparents and I went out for Chinese dinner to their favorite place.  I was really enjoying it, I used to eat shrimp and seafood all the time, never had a problem.  We were driving home and next thing I know I’m wheezing, my throat feels like it’s closing.

My grandparents took me to the ER where they intubated me and admitted me to the hospital for a week.  When I woke up I had no clue.  The doctor came to see me, asked me all sorts of questions and then asked what I had eaten to which my grandmother told him, Chinese and shrimp.

Well, he looked at me and said I was allergic to shellfish.  How I asked I’ve been eating it since I was little.  He went into all this stuff about how you can become allergic to things as you get older just like kids grow out of certain allergies.  It was not a fun experience. But the hellish experience I had the doctor classified as a near death experience because I did almost die.

All I remember is that I was headed down a darkened hall that looked like a cave, I could see a bit of light coming from the other side.  Suddenly there were arms and hands reaching out for me from either side of the walls. I remember actually feeling panic. I could not turn around and go back the other way, I tried so I continued down the cave scared, crying, panicked.  I reached the end and there was like a staircase and an older woman standing there with her hands held out at me as if to say stop.

That is what she said, she told me I was not to be here, I had to go back.  I recall asking her why and who was she. She did not tell me who she was and I found myself under the bright white light of the ER room then everything went completely black until I was extubated on the hospital floor and woke up.

I later told my Mom and Grandmother about this experience, I described the woman and found she was my great-grandmother who had not only passed away two week before I was born but had known she had the gift of seeing and my mother allowed her to touch her belly while she was dying.

The second NDE I was living in Italy and this one wasn’t as bad but still bad.  There was this really bad rain storm going on with thunder, lighting and I was making a grilled cheese sandwich on a metal grill with a metal spatula (you see where I’m going right).  Well, just as I flipped the sandwich I was hit with 220 volts.  Went through my hand and out through my calf. I had the burn marks for the longest time.  My heart stopped according to the EMTs that showed up to the parko.  But for some weird reason it re-started itself.  The doctors can’t explain it. All I saw was a bright light, darkness then I woke up, it was that fast and really weird, I was shakey for days afterward.

My third to date NDE was five years ago.  I had gotten shingles, doctors had given me the regular medications for it and they weren’t working, it just kept getting worse.  I actually looked like someone had thrown battery acid on me, it was that bad.

I got to the point where the doctors finally just admitted me to the hospital. The ER nurse put in a PICC line and started the IV medication which supposedly was a stronger form of the tablet they usually give people.  Almost an hour after the IV medication started I knew something was wrong. My body was on fire, I could feel it burning everywhere the shingles were but not on top from inside.

The doctor came in, ordered benedryl to which my eyes rolled behind my head and I was intubated again for three days. I had had an allergic reaction to the IV medication.  This time I just kind of went with it and recall all these spirits talking to me in my room.  I remember one walking up and down the hallway and someone screaming. I’m still not sure if that time the medication given to knock me out wasn’t enough or if the spirits were there to watch over me for some reason but once I came too I could not wait to get the hell out of there.

The third time may not have been an actual NDE but some weird things happened & I know the people in the room were spirits because I was in a private, locked room.  You had to be covered from head to toe to visit me and they didn’t even allow my parents in according to my mom.

Near Death Experiences are weird and when you know they are coming they are even more so. After the first one I lived in a bubble of anxiety for a couple years.  The second one I about skipped out of the hospital, not feeling invincible but more having flipped death the bird.

Matter of fact I have come to say, I have a condo in hell and it has A/C, an ice machine and a lava pit view, I’ve earned it. Come to think of it Satan is probably to afraid I’d take over so he keeps kicking death in the ass for trying.

I do believe the NDE is different for everyone. We essentially are born alone and even when surrounded by family we die alone and it is how we live out life that matters.